Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Dream baby got me dreamin’ sweet dreams the whole day through

My best friend and his wife just announced they're having a baby. It'll be their first. And I'm absolutely thrilled for them. Not just because they're the most wonderful people on earth and will make incredible parents, but because of what this child will become. Babies are like tofu: they take on the flavor of the people around them. That's why I predict:

He or she will be confident, but never arrogant.

He or she will have a sense of humor that alternates between the bizarre and the intelligently witty.

He (and I also predict that's what this child will be) will never forget where he came from.

He will have grandparents who poil him rotten.

He will be stubborn as hell, but never patronizing.

He will treat everyone with respect, from the garbage man to the senator.

He will be consistent in his political views, especially when it comes to the issue of life and death.

He will have his father's smile.

He will have his mother's laugh.

He will like potatoes.

He will tolerate odd food to please a friend.

He will cheer for the Red Sox and the Patriots.

He will be the favorite son of Section 39 at Fenway, and 118 at Gillette.

He will never want for love.

He will enjoy the occasional shot of Jameson (after he's 21, naturally).

He will play second base in Little League and high school.

He will lead the league in doubles.

He will have many girfriends, but only one love of his life.

He will read Joyce and Kerouac.

He will listen to Dylan and Cash.

He will play the guitar better than he thinks he does.

He will treat his friends better than they deserve.

He will often do well in school, because he loves learning new things.

He will sometimes do poorly in school, because he loves learning new things.

He will live in cities other than Boston.

He will move back to Boston.

He will be a champion of fairness.

He will hate the Yankees.

He will light up every room he enters.

He will have friends who would die for him.

He will try many jobs, before one is chosen for him.

He will disobey his father by accepting that job.

He will be the President of the United States.

Dream baby got me dreamin' sweet dreams.